Too Choppy and Excessive All-Caps

Yesterday, while driving around, a lot, looking for a non-fast-food restaurant, it hit me:  I've made a terrible mistake in telling the world I won't eat junk food for three months.  What was I thinking?

This weekend we are moving.  My next post after this will likely be late next week because we will be without internet for a few days.  NO FAST FOOD WHILE MOVING???

I'll be doing a four-hour road trip in mid-June.  NO FAST FOOD DURING A FOUR-HOUR ROAD TRIP?

I'll be taking a very long international flight shortly thereafter, with long layovers.  HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE IN AIRPORTS AND AIRPLANES FOR 24 HOURS WITHOUT JUNK FOOD?

I'll be vacationing for about five days in a lovely South American country.  I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'LL HAVE THERE TO EAT.

It's alright. It'll be alright.  But perhaps I should start softening up my audience to prepare you for being very forgiving.

Most nights, I do eat at home.  But sometimes life requires restaurants.  Out of groceries, don't have time to buy 'em.  Out during the evening, no time to cook.  My hunger is an emergency.  Some people can go without eating for hours and hours on end and yet feel and behave like normal human beings, but not me.  So, I must accommodate my individual needs.

Which leads me to Thursday night, when we went to Cracker Barrel.  I had nothing but water to drink.  Lemon-pepper rainbow trout entree.  Steamed broccoli.  Mashed potatoes.  And macaroni and cheese.

Let me stop you right there.  Remember, this isn't about reducing calories or losing weight. This isn't about going paleo or avoiding carbs-or-fat-or-this-and-that.  Not everyone agrees, obviously, but mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese aren't junk foods.  They are just regular foods.

Some might think, "Well, shit.  If you're allowing yourself to eat all that, it should be easy for you to avoid fast food and junk food.  I thought this blog was about cutting out the stuff I personally struggle with: all refined sugar/wheat/gluten/dairy/all grains/meat/animal products/saturated fat/calories and most especially...CARBS!"

Just in case you are thinking that, let me assure you with the strongest assurances available to me:  NO.  IT IS NOT EASY FOR ME.  Maybe for you.  I don't know.  Not for me, though.

My husband hates what a picky eater I am.  (Everyone does once they get to know me.)  Once, long ago, before I was comfortable enough to shoot everything down immediately, he'd float suggestions like the following, but now he knows the answers pre-emptively:

Chinese food?
 Nope.

Seafood?
Nope.

Barbecue?
Nope.

Japanese?  Thai? Asian Fusion?
Triple nope!

Mexican?
Maybe on your birthday.

Now, there is a long list of restaurants where I can find things that I like to eat, and I used to go to various ones, and then I could socialize without tipping anyone off that I'm impossible to please. But let me explain how fast food addiction works.  Say you go through a tough time where you eat a lot of fast food, seemingly out of necessity (such as when you are breastfeeding around the clock and have no time even for personal hygiene and never, literally never, sleep).  Much like the Colonel (Sanders), whom we all know puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smart-ass (see So I Married an Axe Murderer), my Big Three (McDonald's, Chick-Fil-A, and Hungry Howie's) do the same.  Except I felt a burning yearning on a daily basis and it took a lot of work and sweat and teeth-gritting to pare that down to only a twice-per-week requirement. Okay, two to four times.  We'll say three on average.

When you have reached this point, every time you have the money and opportunity to eat out, it has to be one of the Big Three.  You can't go to other restaurants anymore, because they are too expensive or inconvenient to waste any time and money on when you could have had your "favorite."  In other words, you can't deal with passing up the fix.  It would be truly upsetting to miss a fix.

And this is what happened to me.

And last night, we ate at an Indian restaurant.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!