Beginning to Get a Little Twitchy

I had a nightmare about McDonald's food.  It wasn't about "pink slime" or GMOs.  Theme of dream:  I'm starving and trying to get some McDonald's food, obstacles and villains thwart me.

But that's the only night I've had food craving dreams since I began this abstention from crap.  It occurred on the fifth night.  Nine days are now complete.  My experience tells me it won't be long before I'm plagued nightly with visions of eating stacks and stacks of pizzas and chocolate cakes.

I want to be like:

But instead I be like:

Nevertheless, mainly thanks to "going public" with this blog, I'm towing the line.  Or is it toeing the line?  I don't even know what that means. I'm just trying to use a wide variety of phrases because that's writing.

I mean that I am successfully abstaining from junk food.  

I am feeling a little sheepish because I had a Coke Zero today at Subway (but apples instead of chips).  I said "no soda" and okay, technically Coke Zero is a soda.  And I understand that aspartame is the devil or something, but the thing is I'm not addicted to diet drinks.  I don't really care for them.  Having one doesn't make me more likely to have another.  I don't have any around the house or anything.  And I'm not going to do it again.  After I got the Coke Zero, I realized they had unsweetened iced tea.  I should have gotten that.  I will  next time.  OH MY GOD, GET OFF MY BACK.

After a hard day of work cleaning the house we're going to move into at the end of the month, the hunger problem reared its ugly head.  We tried going to the store for a rotisserie chicken.  Out of luck!  Searched the store for other healthy, and convenient-quick-easy options.  There weren't any.  That was wasted time. Time I didn't have.  We went home and had salmon filets and baked potatoes. Some might think this is a splendid meal, but what some might be forgetting is that, A), salmon and potato is not Hungry Howie's pizza and B), salmon and potato required prep work and was slightly inconvenient.   Now, maybe in YOUR world, that doesn't mean much, friend.  But in MY world?  Woe.  Woe.  Woe is me.  

This is serious.  You think this is a joke? I feel like I'm not getting through to you.  These events are very upsetting.  The food was dry and bland!  So dry!  And oh so bland!  Sticking in my throat.  Not getting me high.  Was there anything left to live for?

I see forbidden foods everywhere I go and I want them all, every time.   Thanks to this blog, I won't do that.

I started trying to figure out a way I could have hot cocoa tonight (use blackstrap molasses instead of the coconut palm sugar I'd been using?) But then I remembered that even though it really doesn't seem all that bad for me, I'm doing this as much for my emotional health as for my physical health.  And I don't want to be reliant on a crutch of chocolate to prop me up.

To sum it up:  IT'S TOUGH.  But.  I'M TOUGHER.